Thursday, November 05, 2009

Vampires Suck

Edward Cullen- come and get me.

I went to donate blood today and no one wanted it!

I did everything; played nice, pleaded, begged, groveled, threatened to prick my own arm until they had to restrain me, but no cigar.

Parents lie to you to make you feel better, you know? When I was a kid and I was the only one covered head to toe with mosquito bites, my mother used to tell me I had "sweet blood" and that they all loved it.

But it can't be true. Because no one but those darned mosquitoes want it!

I think the Twilight franchise would go down the tubes if I offered the vampires my blood. They'd all be so horrified by it that they'd be turned off their love of blood like I was turned off sesame chicken on chemo and never look back.

The Jewish private blood drives never took my blood claiming they didn't want it after I'd had transfusions. Even though those transfusions were back in '03.

The place I went to today was horrified to hear that. They said it was illegal to turn down someone if it was more than a year since their last transfusion. They claimed that they needed blood donors badly enough that to turn away someone when the NY requirements said I was fine, was almost criminal. I was told by a regional director (named Carlos) that if anyone ever turned me down for that again, they could lose their license or something equally satisfying to me.

So don't ever say it to me again, you hear, because I got Carlos on my side.

But today it wasn't the transfusions stopping me.

I am a small person. I was built this way. There's nothing I can do to change the fact that I will probably never weigh enough to give a pint of blood to someone who needs it as badly as I once did.

I lied and said I was just a pound under the limit. I begged and said it was more like two pounds but could I please? I pleaded and said I was once a cancer patient and wanted to give back. I bargained and asked if I could just give red blood cells.

They put me on the scale. At a full eleven pounds under the limit, they gave me the free cookies out of pity but asked me to leave.

As a girl all I wanted was to be like my mother. The woman who helped build my father's business, raised nine kids by day, scrapbooked their pictures at night. Cooked one supper for us as a family and another every Sunday for Chai Lifeline. Ran with me to the hospital and then came home to PTA. Gave blood in the morning and then went rollerblading at night with us girls.

She's the goal I set all my life and I'm trying, even though I'll never match up. See, we have different blood types.

She's A- and I'm A+. So if it came down to it at the medical level- she won't ever want my blood either.

I'm feeling rejected.

Any vampires out there who like A+? My blood is looking for a good cause. If it can't be cancer kids, I don't mind Edward Cullen paying a visit...

26 comments:

Freeda said...

i just got that pun- vampires suck. smart...

mikimi said...

I am A+ too and not underweight at all and they don't seem to want my blood either. What a bummer! I even tried to donate a kidney....but no way.

Anonymous said...

sorry you couldn't give blood. but there are others ways that you can give back!

dont' wanna make you feel bad but the day i donated blood was one of the best days of my life cuz i really felt like i saved someone's life...

find some other way to give back to those who are in the same situtation u were in years back. sounds like u've already done that (clown sheital..)

Brochi said...

Aside from being underweight, when else aren't you allowed to donate blood? i feel like doing it right now, altough i'm 7 months pregnant, is that ok?

J.A.P. said...

No way Brochi- you won't be allowed to give blood if you're pregnant.

Freeda- yay! You got it!

Mikimi- we're in the same boat.

Anonymous- I know. I had this dream of giving blood on my 17th birthday, as soon I was legally allowed to do so. I was so upset when I couldn't. Of course I give back in other ways, but I really really want to have the chance to do this at least once. I was looking forward to donating blood for a long time.

The Sanity Inspector said...

You can always volunteer in some way, I guess.

g doubleyou said...

i just got blood from some anonymous donor, and i have nightmares of some smelly, hairy, greasy 4o yr old mans blood pumping thru me.... it's some relief to hear that nice twenty something yr old woman also give blood. :-)

tesyaa said...

I think 11 pounds under the limit is too low. On the other hand, a friend of ours was once running a blood drive and his wife weighed in about 5 pounds under the limit. He said, "Rena, get on the table!" They took her blood.

Meeee said...

Nobody wants mine either. Not after they hear that I had Hepatitis when I WAS TEN. I don't even have to say that I've since had mono, shigella, etc. I'm disqualified forever. Rejected too. Guess that's not what Hashem wants from me right now, I've got lots of other things He may want so I've decided to search elsewhere. And though you may feel rejected now, your certainly NOT rejected here, by your blog readers...we love you... even if you can't have my blood and I can't have yours!

B. Marcus said...

You're allowed to donate blood as a cancer survivor? My doctor advised against it. Does it depend how many years one is cancer free?

nmf #7 said...

They never let me donate- my iron count is always too low. And I'm always depressed about it.
But there are tons of other things you can do. Last year, I actually volunteered for the bone marrow drive, and did the test for that. So there are other things.

J.A.P. said...

G. Doubleyou- Most of my blood came from people I know, my step uncle, my father's best friend, my uncle, and then three anonymous donors I still wonder about... Maybe I do have a greasy 40 year old guy's blood in me. The free cookies are such a lure!

Tesyaa- That's cute! 11 lbs is low. Even I know that. But I was hoping... Also, I didn't know that I was that much under the limit. I thought I was close enough to pass. Another thing- this wasn't a privately run drive, so they had to be very strict about regulations.

Meeee- according to the NY regulations Mono wont stop you, but Hepatitis I'm not sure of. I have the list somewhere, but I didn't look for that cos I never dealt with Hepatitis. MOnp I know they take because they never gave me an issue about it.

B Marcus- actually yes. My dr told me they'd probably never take my blood anyway, but the NY rules have nothing against cancer survivors- though it might depend on what kind of cancer it was.

NMF #7- so I'm not the only one depressed about it!!!!

By the way, brochi, forgot to mention- B'sha'ah tova!

tembow said...

Meee:
I had hepatitis A when i was in second grade and they still took my blood. so maybe the person you asked didnt' really know.

Freeda said...

NMF #7- the first time I tried to donate my iron was too low. The next time I went- I took iron supplements for a week before and that boosted it enough to donate. The next couple of times I did that and was fine. About a year ago I realized the morning of my appt. that I forgot to take iron- and when they checked I was high enough :) So I don't take anymore- but you may wanna try that.

jawttgirl said...

I found out about a month ago that I an never give blood. No matter what I weigh no matter my iron count, they will never want my blood. I have colitis and even when I'm not on medicine for it they wont let me donate for reasons they wont explain (I live in Israel, they dont feel like they owe me the reason,typical Israeli mentality). When I found out I cried and begged them to try anyways. My parents have been donating blood every time then can ever since they have been old enough and I wanted to also. While I was hanging around waiting for my parents to finish being Vampired I was talking to one of the people working there and they suggested I learn how to be take blood so I can feel like I am giving also and hopefully as soon as a speak Hebrew fluently enough I will learn that skill so I can finally feel like i'm helping.

Brochi said...

Amen!

Anonymous said...

What's the required weight to be able to donate blood? i'm quite petite so i was wondering whether my weight is OK.

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed to see how you so badly wonna donate blood after being sick. Healthy me feels sick just thinking of giving blood.

J.A.P. said...

anonymous- Blood doesn't faze me. I'm so used to getting stuck, it's so not a big deal to me.

I remember though that before I got sick and had to take bloods for epstein barr, I fainted when I saw how many tubes of blood they wanted- I didn't even wait to see the needle!

RivkA with a capital A said...

Wow, I am surprised that people who had cancer can donate at all!

When I realized that I couldn't donate organs (even after I die), I was devastated. I posted about it (here).

The first time I even went to donate blood, I spent hours psyching myself up for it. Back then, I had a healthy fear (read: phobia) of needles. They wouldn't take my blood. It turns out my blood pressure was too low. I was so disappointed (all that pent up anxiety... and no where to go!!)

If you want, you can volunteer to hand out cookies and juice....

;-)

little sheep said...

they won't take your blood if you've had hepatitis because of something to do with the antibodies.

Anonymous said...

There is something you could do to feel like you are giving back.

This was my dream - to donate my hair to Chai Lifeline. And I am finally about to do it. I was inspired by someone else who did the same - she grew her hair under her shaitel and then donated it. So I said to myself that when I get married, I will do it too. I have not cut my hair since the last haircut before my wedding and will be cutting it in the next week or two. I took time for my hair to grow and it is now up to my waist but you would never know, because it's always covered!

I feel that if I can't give Chai Lifeline money to try and pay them back for all they did to help me, my friends and my family and so many people I know who have been helped by them, I can at least give back by donating my hair so another cancer patient will be able to have a beautiful wig.

A message to all those married women out there: you can do it too!!

Freeda said...

A sheitel would fit over all that hair?

Anonymous said...

Freeda, yes, my shaitel fits on just fine. You just have to know not to put the pony too high up beneath the shaitel, lower down, right by the nape of the neck is where I hide it!
My hair is actually quite thick, but I have a way of pulling it back tightly and curling it around like in a bun (it's hard to describe exactly but it works).
I'm hoping to cut my hair soon and I'm really excited about it!
You can do it too, if you are really determined and want to do it!!

Freeda said...

I can do it too? Guess I could...but at this point I have no reason to wear a shaitel :P

chchick said...

I was thrown off the National Bone Marrow Registry when it was discovered that some time after I was originally tested I came down with Hepetitis A. I think that will remain my permanent stauts but I believe that some places will take blood after 7-10 years.

As a Hodgkins survivor, I dont think my daughter expects anyone to ever want her blood. I think it fairly reasonable that blood cancer survivors should not share their blood.