I just spoke for Chazak Hotline! It was so much fun even though the first three minutes aren't that great because I was nervous. It was weird telling my story to a phone that didn't talk back but when I got up to talk in front of the mirror it started sounding a lot better. :-)
Go have a listen and tell me what you think!
718-258-2008 or 845-356-6665. You need to press #3 to hear "Inspiration for Life's Challenges". Then press #2 for Whatever that option is, and then I'm speech number 55#.
Enjoy!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Making Moments
I was feeding them supper one evening last week
and I was slouching exhausted in my chair.
I was counting the hours till the day would end
When they’d be sleeping and out of my hair.
I danced around the kitchen, and tricked them into eating
And sang till my throat was sore
And even though I wanted to sit down and cry
I tried to be patient when they wanted more.
I waited all day for this family time
But when it came it just messed with my head,
And I felt so bad that all I could think,
Was how long until I could ship them to bed
I glanced at the clock, another hour to go
So I gave them dessert to pass time
My son was ecstatic as I sat down on the floor
and waited for the hour to chime
And I was sad that it seemed that they all were like this
Each day just blurred into the next
And I wondered when I was going to make big memories
Days that stood out from the rest
I wondered which today's would be part of tomorrow
Which parts they’d take with when a new sun showed its face
Or which days of their lives they’d never recall
Hazy memories stored in some forgotten place.
And it made me sad all through their bath
Where we blew bubbles and tickled and splashed
And after that they got dressed and jumped on my bed
And made their tired old mommy laugh
It seemed so depressing, yet another evening
With no strength to make memories for keeps.
Instead trying to smile during their nightly routine
And waiting till they were asleep.
And when they became quiet later,
One in my arms, and my shoulder supporting the other one’s head
I kissed their cheeks and hugged them tight
And brought them each to their own beds.
I worried about those memories,
When we’d make them and what they would be.
Would they be of happy times of laughter and joy
Or of a tired and cranky old me.
And then my son called from deep in his dreams
He woke up for one last hug good night.
He snuggled up to me close and kissed me so cute
And I too held on to him tight.
Then I knew suddenly that as blurry as they get
Each night helps to build a new dawn
And that the hugs and the laughs and the bubbles we splashed
Will help us all keep moving on
And my daughter smiled in her sleep, don’t know what she was dreaming
But my evening lost some of its gloom
I felt so much lighter after that hug and her grin
And felt happy as I left their room
I realized its not the big memories but the little moments,
Not the big days but just small tiny parts
Those are the minutes that last through the tomorrows,
Nestled somewhere in their little hearts.
So I vowed to make more of the today’s.
Hug tighter, smile bigger, laugh real
To stop worrying about the memories I wanted to make
And to love the precious moments we steal.
and I was slouching exhausted in my chair.
I was counting the hours till the day would end
When they’d be sleeping and out of my hair.
I danced around the kitchen, and tricked them into eating
And sang till my throat was sore
And even though I wanted to sit down and cry
I tried to be patient when they wanted more.
I waited all day for this family time
But when it came it just messed with my head,
And I felt so bad that all I could think,
Was how long until I could ship them to bed
I glanced at the clock, another hour to go
So I gave them dessert to pass time
My son was ecstatic as I sat down on the floor
and waited for the hour to chime
And I was sad that it seemed that they all were like this
Each day just blurred into the next
And I wondered when I was going to make big memories
Days that stood out from the rest
I wondered which today's would be part of tomorrow
Which parts they’d take with when a new sun showed its face
Or which days of their lives they’d never recall
Hazy memories stored in some forgotten place.
And it made me sad all through their bath
Where we blew bubbles and tickled and splashed
And after that they got dressed and jumped on my bed
And made their tired old mommy laugh
It seemed so depressing, yet another evening
With no strength to make memories for keeps.
Instead trying to smile during their nightly routine
And waiting till they were asleep.
And when they became quiet later,
One in my arms, and my shoulder supporting the other one’s head
I kissed their cheeks and hugged them tight
And brought them each to their own beds.
I worried about those memories,
When we’d make them and what they would be.
Would they be of happy times of laughter and joy
Or of a tired and cranky old me.
And then my son called from deep in his dreams
He woke up for one last hug good night.
He snuggled up to me close and kissed me so cute
And I too held on to him tight.
Then I knew suddenly that as blurry as they get
Each night helps to build a new dawn
And that the hugs and the laughs and the bubbles we splashed
Will help us all keep moving on
And my daughter smiled in her sleep, don’t know what she was dreaming
But my evening lost some of its gloom
I felt so much lighter after that hug and her grin
And felt happy as I left their room
I realized its not the big memories but the little moments,
Not the big days but just small tiny parts
Those are the minutes that last through the tomorrows,
Nestled somewhere in their little hearts.
So I vowed to make more of the today’s.
Hug tighter, smile bigger, laugh real
To stop worrying about the memories I wanted to make
And to love the precious moments we steal.
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sometimes I Wish.
Sometimes I wish for the time where I was just another kid in high school.
Sometimes I wish for the time when I was just another newlywed wife on the street.
But then I'd be giving up who I am now and all those people I've gotten to know and help and learn from in this last year.
Sometimes I wish for the days when Mommy's kiss made everything better.
Sometimes I wish for when a band-aid took all pains away,
But then I'd be giving up the experience and the biggest times of growth of my life.
Sometimes I wish for the late nights spent laughing with my friends.
Sometimes I wish for the early mornings I used to go rollerblading with my mother before school.
But then I'd be giving up the midnight feedings and the happy "git morgen Mommy!" I get every day.
Sometimes I wish for the man who used to take me on dates when we were engaged.
Sometimes I wish for the man who came home only to me.
But then I'd be giving up the man who proudly gives piggyback rides and mushy kisses to our kids.
Sometimes I wish for the days when I'd leave my bed unmade cos no one noticed.
Sometimes I wish for the days when I'd clean the house and it'd stay that way.
But then I'd be giving up on happy faces smeared with sticky lollipop goop and floors scattered with beloved toys.
Sometimes I wish for the easy black and white, right and wrong of my childhood.
Sometimes I wish for the shades of grey of my political teenage years.
But then I'd be giving up the world of primary colors and rainbows I live in now.
Sometimes I may wish but I never forget what I already have.
Sometimes I wish for the time when I was just another newlywed wife on the street.
But then I'd be giving up who I am now and all those people I've gotten to know and help and learn from in this last year.
Sometimes I wish for the days when Mommy's kiss made everything better.
Sometimes I wish for when a band-aid took all pains away,
But then I'd be giving up the experience and the biggest times of growth of my life.
Sometimes I wish for the late nights spent laughing with my friends.
Sometimes I wish for the early mornings I used to go rollerblading with my mother before school.
But then I'd be giving up the midnight feedings and the happy "git morgen Mommy!" I get every day.
Sometimes I wish for the man who used to take me on dates when we were engaged.
Sometimes I wish for the man who came home only to me.
But then I'd be giving up the man who proudly gives piggyback rides and mushy kisses to our kids.
Sometimes I wish for the days when I'd leave my bed unmade cos no one noticed.
Sometimes I wish for the days when I'd clean the house and it'd stay that way.
But then I'd be giving up on happy faces smeared with sticky lollipop goop and floors scattered with beloved toys.
Sometimes I wish for the easy black and white, right and wrong of my childhood.
Sometimes I wish for the shades of grey of my political teenage years.
But then I'd be giving up the world of primary colors and rainbows I live in now.
Sometimes I may wish but I never forget what I already have.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Setting Ourselves Free
I know I haven't posted in a while, just been way busy. Have another book in the works that had to get finished and then of course there is Pesach coming and my little munchkins who take up all my time.
But tonight I have some breathing room (please please please don't wake up for another twenty minutes till I finish posting!!!) so I figured it was only right to come here and post.
So here goes.
A few weeks ago my friend who comments here quite a bit, itsagift, sent me an awesome quote.
"Resentment is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die."
This quote just hit me so hard I couldn't delete her email. I fell in love with the truth of it and the great message it had.
I wanted to blog about it for a while but I guess it's appropriate that it waited for now- right before Pesach.
You know, each of us have people in our lives who have hurt us and caused us some miserable times. They're hard to forgive and let go of. I know. I've had plenty of hurts myself.
But twenty years, or even twenty minutes after the event, when you're still smarting at what this person may have done to you, do you think they're thinking about you too? Do you think that all the years you wasted hating them and wishing things would have worked out differently are being hated and wished away by that other person as well?
I doubt it.
Once, I worked for someone who made my life a living hell for as long as I was their employment. I used to come home with stories and tears and literally shaking with anger after a day at work.
One Thursday, I had a fallout with my employer over something stupid. I was asking for advice on how to deal with a certain situation that had come up and was told quite bluntly that my employer believed that I caused the whole thing and that if I would not be "Me" then it never would have happened.
Understandably I got pretty upset and said that if my place of work would be a little more accommodating to its employees THEN it never would have happened.
So the boss tells me unceremoniously that if I really felt that way I should look for a new job.
I spent all Shabbos alternately seething and fuming and then crying and pouting.
Until my husband, wise man that he is (and no, I would not say this to his face but if he'd read my blog he's welcome to the compliment) asked me, "While you killed your entire Shabbos, and by the way, killed mine as well, do you think that your employer wasted even one second thinking about you?"
And then it smacked me over the head. No. She didn't. She couldn't care less about me. I was just a fly she swatted and walked away. Yeah, too bad for me that I was the fly left dying on the floor, but she COULDN'T CARE LESS.
And then I realized that I wasted a good 48 hours of my life on someone who didn't deserve those 48 hours of my life.
And it was over.
I left that job. I realized that this person not only didn't deserve my moping, she didn't deserve the time, effort, and the heart that I put into my job to begin with.
And for that I am a much happier person.
I still have to remind myself sometimes to stop driving myself crazy for people who won't even care, but it's a good thing to remember. Because in the end, by allowing myself to be miserable, I am HELPING that other person hurt me.
Imagine if the person who caused you all that pain knew how deeply it hurt you- that you were thinking about it and resenting it for years after. I can just hear the evil laugh. "I thought I could get her down for five minutes max, didn't dream I'd get it going for five years! I am gooood! MWAHAHAHH!"
LOL's aside, there's another aspect to this.
Forget people.
I get asked all the time how come I don't resent the years in my life that I suffered, missed out on being a regular kid, went through what no one should ever know of.
Well, I guess you can say I learned a good lesson. It's not worth it. Those were years that Hashem had planned for me. And as hard as they were, they were going to happen whether I liked it or not. They NEEDED to happen because I had to grow from them. And only those particular circumstances could have made me the exact person I am today.
And a little bigheadedness here- I LIKE the person I am today.
So how can I waste the next five years of my life being miserable about those five months that were only stepping stones?
Resentment is a choice. You just have to realize it. And you need to realize that the health food store don't carry it, just because it ain't healthy. It's poison.
So I think it's perfect for this time of year. Pesach is about letting go- becoming free. But really, the key to most freedoms in this world lies within us. So let's decide to let go this year. Smile, and make the world wonder what you're up to.
If I don't get to the blog again before Pesach -have a kosher'n freylichen yom tov everyone!
And I should have prayed for Moshiach earlier, turns out Hashem was listening. HB JUST started wailing- like she was waiting for the end of my post. :-)
But tonight I have some breathing room (please please please don't wake up for another twenty minutes till I finish posting!!!) so I figured it was only right to come here and post.
So here goes.
A few weeks ago my friend who comments here quite a bit, itsagift, sent me an awesome quote.
"Resentment is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die."
This quote just hit me so hard I couldn't delete her email. I fell in love with the truth of it and the great message it had.
I wanted to blog about it for a while but I guess it's appropriate that it waited for now- right before Pesach.
You know, each of us have people in our lives who have hurt us and caused us some miserable times. They're hard to forgive and let go of. I know. I've had plenty of hurts myself.
But twenty years, or even twenty minutes after the event, when you're still smarting at what this person may have done to you, do you think they're thinking about you too? Do you think that all the years you wasted hating them and wishing things would have worked out differently are being hated and wished away by that other person as well?
I doubt it.
Once, I worked for someone who made my life a living hell for as long as I was their employment. I used to come home with stories and tears and literally shaking with anger after a day at work.
One Thursday, I had a fallout with my employer over something stupid. I was asking for advice on how to deal with a certain situation that had come up and was told quite bluntly that my employer believed that I caused the whole thing and that if I would not be "Me" then it never would have happened.
Understandably I got pretty upset and said that if my place of work would be a little more accommodating to its employees THEN it never would have happened.
So the boss tells me unceremoniously that if I really felt that way I should look for a new job.
I spent all Shabbos alternately seething and fuming and then crying and pouting.
Until my husband, wise man that he is (and no, I would not say this to his face but if he'd read my blog he's welcome to the compliment) asked me, "While you killed your entire Shabbos, and by the way, killed mine as well, do you think that your employer wasted even one second thinking about you?"
And then it smacked me over the head. No. She didn't. She couldn't care less about me. I was just a fly she swatted and walked away. Yeah, too bad for me that I was the fly left dying on the floor, but she COULDN'T CARE LESS.
And then I realized that I wasted a good 48 hours of my life on someone who didn't deserve those 48 hours of my life.
And it was over.
I left that job. I realized that this person not only didn't deserve my moping, she didn't deserve the time, effort, and the heart that I put into my job to begin with.
And for that I am a much happier person.
I still have to remind myself sometimes to stop driving myself crazy for people who won't even care, but it's a good thing to remember. Because in the end, by allowing myself to be miserable, I am HELPING that other person hurt me.
Imagine if the person who caused you all that pain knew how deeply it hurt you- that you were thinking about it and resenting it for years after. I can just hear the evil laugh. "I thought I could get her down for five minutes max, didn't dream I'd get it going for five years! I am gooood! MWAHAHAHH!"
LOL's aside, there's another aspect to this.
Forget people.
I get asked all the time how come I don't resent the years in my life that I suffered, missed out on being a regular kid, went through what no one should ever know of.
Well, I guess you can say I learned a good lesson. It's not worth it. Those were years that Hashem had planned for me. And as hard as they were, they were going to happen whether I liked it or not. They NEEDED to happen because I had to grow from them. And only those particular circumstances could have made me the exact person I am today.
And a little bigheadedness here- I LIKE the person I am today.
So how can I waste the next five years of my life being miserable about those five months that were only stepping stones?
Resentment is a choice. You just have to realize it. And you need to realize that the health food store don't carry it, just because it ain't healthy. It's poison.
So I think it's perfect for this time of year. Pesach is about letting go- becoming free. But really, the key to most freedoms in this world lies within us. So let's decide to let go this year. Smile, and make the world wonder what you're up to.
If I don't get to the blog again before Pesach -have a kosher'n freylichen yom tov everyone!
And I should have prayed for Moshiach earlier, turns out Hashem was listening. HB JUST started wailing- like she was waiting for the end of my post. :-)
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Purim in the Bronx (Zoo)
My kids dressed up as animals yesterday (JB was a kangaroo and HB was a bear) so this is the poem I wrote to hand out with our shalach manos...
Back in Shushan many years ago
Bee-gan the tail I now recall,
When Achashveirosh made a mishteh
For nobles, and pheasants, his subjects all.
He was proud as a peacock
Of the riches he possessed,
And he couldn’t wait to show off Vashti,
His deer queen to all the rest.
But Vashti was acting catty,
She couldn’t bear the way she looked.
The king got annoyed at her otter disrespect,
And decided her goose was cooked.
But then Achashveirosh was sheepish
When he realized he had caused a scene.
And so he sent out announcers throughout the streets,
“Hare ye! We’re looking for a new queen!”
Hagai was a man with a porpoise,
He was the cardinal royal beautician,
He was ticked when Esther ignored his help,
And heron in became a man with a mission.
But Esther didn’t need any of it,
People used to crane their necks when they spider.
The other girls got crabby and thought she was a cheetah,
But as queen, no one could fight her.
Of course her identity as a Jewish girl,
Was kept quiet at a mouse
The mystery was like an elephant in the room,
But the king still made her queen of the house.
Bigsan and Seresh planned to kill the monarch,
But by Mordechai were overheard
He stopped the sly foxes from using snake venom on the king,
And watched the traitors hung up with the birds.
The court squirreled out of Mordechai’s reward
Even though he was Esther’s relation,
Because Haman came in raven about a new plan,
And it created quite a sensation.
“Please don’t be chicken” he said to the king,
“Owl take care of it all, you know.
Just please let me kill all the Jews in your kingdom!”
And Achashveirosh said, “Llama lo?”
Mordechai told Esther about this fishy plan
And asked her to have something arranged.
She told the Yidden to fast for three days
And she’d see if the king’s tuna could be changed.
She went in to the king bone tired and thin,
Cowering with fear,
But he sent out his seal and nodded to her
And said he was ready to hare.
Esther ducked her head shyly and quietly asked,
If he’d come to her for a spell.
She’d serve lamb and turkey and other nice things.
And said Haman was invited as well.
That night dressed in her most beautiful boa
Esther asked the king if it was alright
If she hosted another party,
“Bear with me one more night.”
Later Haman went running back to Achashveirosh
Even though he was in pajamas and crocs,
His head was so abuzz with the plans that he had
He ran in and forgot to knock.
The king was sitting up in his own comfy mules,
He had a dilemur he was mooseing over you see.
He needed to honor Mordechai,
But Haman thought, “Whale, he must mean me!”
So though Haman plotted to kill the Tzaddik,
He ended up leading Mordechai’s horse instead.
He crowed to the streets about what a fine man he was.
And his own daughter dumped a pigsty on his head!
He wished he could bow out of Esther’s gathering that night,
His day had gone to the dogs anyway.
But he was told to furget that plan,
And hurry over to the palace without delay.
At the party Esther whaled on him,
By crying to the king about Haman the shark,
The king hawkishly sentenced him to death on the spot,
“Get him out of my sight!” He barked.
“I’m sorry I exposed him for lion and cheatin’”
Esther apologized as Haman and his family hung,
(Along his wife Zeresh and his son Dolphin,)
But the king said “Don’t worry about that skunk.”
We Jews are not Man o’ war,
But we won a battle then,
It was our victory over Amalek
We roared our thanks to Hashem.
Today its years and years later,
And we still don’t let anything bug us in this special time,
We carry our feathers in our caps.
Cos we’re proud of our heritage so fine!
Pigeon to make this the best Purim ever
By keeping happy but careful too,
Make sure to stay safe, act like mentchen, not chayos,
Even though Purim can feel like a zoo!
A Freilichen Purim!
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Sharing Simchos!
We were due three days apart but our little girls ended up with a 19 day gap between their birthdays.
My friend "Michal" from my book just gave birth to a playmate for HB this morning! She sounds great even though she's not resting up enough (I am one to talk because I am three weeks down the road and know what she's about to face...) and she's just thrilled to be a mommy.
Her daughter is making up for the 19 day gap by weighing more at birth than HB does at almost three weeks old, so I just know they'll be great friends with a lot in common.
I should really add some of these last posts as a P.S. in the book now that Miracle Ride is going into its third printing. :-). People keep asking me for updates on all the characters in the book- and B"H there's been a lot of happy stuff going on for us.
May we only share simchos!
My friend "Michal" from my book just gave birth to a playmate for HB this morning! She sounds great even though she's not resting up enough (I am one to talk because I am three weeks down the road and know what she's about to face...) and she's just thrilled to be a mommy.
Her daughter is making up for the 19 day gap by weighing more at birth than HB does at almost three weeks old, so I just know they'll be great friends with a lot in common.
I should really add some of these last posts as a P.S. in the book now that Miracle Ride is going into its third printing. :-). People keep asking me for updates on all the characters in the book- and B"H there's been a lot of happy stuff going on for us.
May we only share simchos!
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