Reflections, a Letter/Song

REFLECTIONS

Dear World,

I'm just a reflection of what you want to see.
I'm a mirror- I show you an image but not the real me.
Your facial expressions, I copy your actions,
Whatever you do, I am the reaction.

Those labels you give me you think you're perceptive,
But let me tell you, I can be deceptive.
Before you define me as something not quite norm,
Believe that I reflect what you exude on my form.

CHORUS:

I can appear changed in someone else’s eyes,
And what different people see may come as a surprise.
You want to see anger, confusion, and despair?
I keep in mind it’s not me, and I try not to care.

You ask why I keep you guessing and why I don’t just tell
But like a mirror I’m a myth that you need to dispel.
You say mirrors are fickle, they can distort and lie
But mirrors don’t talk, and neither do I

You can keep staring, define me with your gaze.
But you won't get to know me till you travel my maze,
Most people are content to judge but not try,
They are fine with my image staring them in the eye.

How can you be sure when you don't really know?
My personality is within me, outside it won't show.
So when you walked away with whatever you knew,
Know now it's not me, but a reflection of you.

CHORUS:

I can appear changed in someone else’s eyes,
And what different people see may come as a surprise.
You want to see anger, confusion, and despair?
I keep in mind it’s not me, and I try not to care.

You ask why I keep you guessing and why I don’t just tell
But like a mirror I’m a myth that you need to dispel.
You say mirrors are fickle, they can distort and lie
But mirrors don’t talk, and neither do I

But if you had tried to come with an open heart,
I should tell you that I'd also echo that part,
I am a mirror; I reflect what you do,
Extend your friendship and I'll give you mine too.

Stop talking and scheming, for once just don't plan,
Forget my image and get to know who I am.
But who ever looks beyond imperfection?
Until someone does I remain,
Your Reflection.

CHORUS:

I can appear changed in someone else’s eyes,
And what different people see may come as a surprise.
You want to see anger, confusion, and despair?
I keep in mind it’s not me, and I try not to care.

You ask why I keep you guessing and why I don’t just tell
But like a mirror I’m a myth that you need to dispel.
You say mirrors are fickle they play with your mind,
Mirrors don’t talk, but I could try.

Moved in! And Wondering...

You know what I find weird?

Well, lots of things.

But you know what struck me over the last couple of weeks as being strange?

How is it that some people face tremendous challenges with the powerful faith and strength that leave us all speechless, but then can break down when the hairdryer goes bust?

Over the last few months all I've been hearing is feedback about the book. I've heard it all- the good, the bad, the ugly. There are the people who think it's too sad, some that think it's too upbeat, and some that think it's just right.

But what I think everyone agrees with is that the route I took when I was ill was the best one for me. Maybe not for anyone else, but for me, yes.

And another thing most people like to embarrass me with is the part about me being soooo strong and blah di blah and how I had such amazing faith and blah more blah. I say blah, not because it's not nice to hear this, but because there is nothing to answer and because I know from where I get my strength and bitachon. I had lots of people helping me along the way and it was mostly them, not me, getting me through everything.

But ANYWAY. The point is, that whatever the case may be, I've been through the runaround. And not to brag or anything, but I would like to think I came out reasonably stable and okay from everything I have been through.

So what I couldn't wrap my head around last week was why after everything so far, what caused me to really break down in tears, and I mean really wracking, sobbing, cry your heart out tears, was when the locksmith I was using installed a broken buzzer into my new home and then wanted to charge me $200 to have it replaced- five days after he installed it when it never worked to begin with. When I insisted that it had never worked he got all huffy, called me a liar, took his tools and drove away without even saying good-bye or working it out.

And so I sat down on the stairs and bawled. So much so that my son came over to give me a kiss and his pacifier.

Of course, this is kind of a stupid embarrassing story to put on a blog, but I wonder- it seems so weird to me. I've seen this happen to other people and always thought it strange but now it happened to me too.

What makes us weird weird people tick? I wonder.

Anywho! I'm back!!! Any readers still around?

Not in Hibernation...

To answer a commenter's question, I am not in hibernation, don't worry.

I am though in the middle of moving and getting settled into a new place where the internet isn't working yet (neither is the hot water or stove...) but should be up and running within the week.

So bear with me till then!

Hope everyone is fasting well, I'm already counting down until I can have a J&J cappucino...

Amy's Army

I recieved an email asking for help in finding a stem cell transplant for a young girl named Amy. This is not one of those dumb pranks that you get in your emails where they say that Google will donate 5 cents for every person that reads this sob story. Those, by the way, are all fake. Google and Yahoo and Aol and whatever can NOT track who you are sending your emails to and they are not interested. Before you pass on those dumb annoying inbox-cluttering emails, please verify them. You can just go onto Google and search the name of the "sick girl" or the "doctor" and a bunch of sites will come up and tell you that this stuff is all nonesense.



Back to Amy. Amy Katz was diagnosed with Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia (CML) in 2003. She volunteered to participate in a worldwide study for Gleevac in order to “help other kids..” But, while the drug allows her to lead a somewhat normal life, the only known cure for CML is a stem cell transplant. Although Amy’s whole family has been tested, none of them are a match (although ironically, her two sisters are perfect matches for each other.)

Amy’s Army was founded by friends and family soon after learning about Amy’s diagnosis. They held their first marrow drive in 2004 and had a turnout of over 1,620 people! The second drive drew 500 people in the midst of a Pittsburgh snowstorm! Although the many marrow drives that have been hosted by Amy’s Army have found 22 other donor matches for other patients, none has yet been found for Amy.

The most likely matches for Amy are Jews of Eastern European descent. The Pittsburgh Jewish community has been enthusiastic in their support of the cause, but we are now trying to expand by encouraging national Jewish organizations to host donor drives. Amy’s Army has already hosted donor drives in 12 states and is hoping to increase this number.

Amy’s Army has received a lot of local press coverage. If you are interested in reading the articles you can find them on the website at: http://www.amysarmy.org/press.htm.

For more information you can also visit: www.amysarmy.org.

If people are unable to attend a specific Amy’s Army donor drive, they are still encouraged to register and provide the donor bank with Amy’s CBB tracking number, #Z0020553.

This is as much as I can really write here because most of what anyone needs to know is on her website. If people reading this could maybe forward her website to others, maybe someone who is interested in donating will get to read it and we can make something happen for a girl who needs it.

Tizku L'mitzvos!